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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25410052">Being an Angel Stuck on Earth Is a Lonely Business</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pass_the_salt/pseuds/pass_the_salt'>pass_the_salt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monster of the Week (Tabletop RPG), Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angels, Gen, Heaven is terrible, Nonbinary Character, Not Quite Fallen Angels, this is just a backstory for my oc but my friends told me it was good so y'all can read it too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:49:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25410052</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pass_the_salt/pseuds/pass_the_salt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>I am the Light, the Sword.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I am sent to defend the meek from Darkness.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>All Evil fears me, for I am its end.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>An angel tries to address what they see as evil in Heaven.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Being an Angel Stuck on Earth Is a Lonely Business</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to Erni and Alex for the beta! </p><p>This fic was written as a backstory of my Divine character for Monster of the Week. They're called Augustus. They're an angel.</p><p>Here's a description of Augustus' human form which isn't very important to the story but it's important to me you all know that:</p><ul>
  <li>Augustus is a toga wearing androgynous being with glowing eyes. Their skin is perfect and olive coloured. They've got white, straight, medium-length hair. They also have angel wings.</li>
  <li>The toga they wear is called a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toga#Varieties">Toga Praetexta</a>.</li>
</ul><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Part 1: It's Not Falling If You Land on Your Feet (It's Just Exile)</h3><p>Augustus didn't Fall. Falling would have made them a demon. But they are still an angel, they still have all the powers that come with being one. It's just that they're not allowed to be in Heaven.<sup><a href="#fn1" id="ref1" name="ref1">[1]</a></sup></p><p>Augustus didn't Fall, but they were kicked out. What actually happened is a long story, but it is not one they are willing to tell.<sup><a href="#fn2" id="ref2" name="ref2">[2]</a></sup></p><p>Depending on who tells it, the story is different every time. What follows is an account as far as Augustus remembers it.</p><p>Asking questions is dangerous. Augustus knows this. This doesn't stop them from doing it. Injustice is wrong, this is what they have been taught. So, if they see injustice, they call it out. They file a report. They wait for the verdict.</p><p>They wait for a very long time.<sup><a href="#fn3" id="ref3" name="ref3">[3]</a></sup></p><p>They wait, and they wait, and they wait.</p><p>It takes them a long time to realise the verdict isn't coming.</p><p>So they investigate. They go to their superiors. They ask why nothing has been done. They are met with a reminder that you must listen to authorities and that if they continue to question the Divine Rules,<sup><a href="#fn4" id="ref4" name="ref4">[4]</a></sup> it will not end well for them.</p><p>Augustus takes this all in, and decides to be more furtive about further investigations. Something is wrong in Heaven, and they intend to fix it. Corruption in Heaven could be disastrous--it would put Heaven on the same level as Hell.</p><p>They know their superiors are keeping an eye on them, so they stay silent, and they watch. They gather information. They talk to other angels, taking care not to arouse suspicion.</p><p>(Something is most certainly wrong in Heaven, and Augustus will put it right. There is Evil in Heaven, and Augustus will put an end to it. A Darkness is infecting Heaven, and Augustus will prevent that from happening.)</p><p>Once Augustus is sure they have enough evidence, they write it all down. They have a case to make. It needs to be presented properly.</p><p>Talking to their direct superiors is not an option. This needs to be taken straight to the Top. The Top, as it turns out, is not actually available, but they can talk to Their Voice.</p><p>The Voice listens to Augustus as they present their case. After they finish, Augustus is told to wait. So they wait, and they wait, and they wait.</p><p>They get told to leave. Leave Heaven and never come back.<sup><a href="#fn5" id="ref5" name="ref5">[5]</a></sup></p><p>They leave, and don’t look back.</p><p>Augustus didn’t Fall. When they came to Earth, they landed on their feet. They didn’t Fall from Heaven, they left.</p><p>Just not of their own volition.</p><p> </p><h3>Part 2: First Steps Are Scary If You’re Not Used to Merely Two Legs</h3><p>Earth is new and terrifying. Augustus has not ever had a humanoid form before, and they don’t know how it works.</p><p>First steps are scary. Augustus has never had to use two legs before. They have never had two arms before. They have never had two wings before.<sup><a href="#fn6" id="ref6" name="ref6">[6]</a></sup> But the most unusual thing of all about their new form is their eyes.</p><p>They only have two. Only on the front.</p><p>This lack of vision is disorienting at best, and reminiscent of Hell at worst.<sup><a href="#fn7" id="ref7" name="ref7">[7]</a></sup></p><p>Augustus wonders if it is mercy or luck that no human is there to see them walk for the first time. This lack of knowing is terrifying too.</p><p>(The fact that they are terrified is also terrifying. Angels do not have emotions. A solitary angel, apparently, does.)</p><p>For the first time in their life<sup><a href="#fn8" id="ref8" name="ref8">[8]</a></sup> they are alone. No one there to help them, no one there to tell them what to do.</p><p>They may have landed on their feet, but their knees are wobbly as they attempt to move. They stumble. They fall.</p><p>For a moment, the distinction between falling and Falling blurs, and Augustus screams.</p><p>Lying on the ground, they wonder what just came out of their mouth.</p><p>Getting back up proves to be harder than they thought. It’s not that the ground is slippery, it’s that they don’t know how to position their arms to raise their body. It takes them longer than they would like to admit to get the upper half of their body upright. They grab onto a wooden pole and raise the rest of their body. Leaning against it, they wonder how long it will take for them to learn this.</p><p>First steps are scary if you’ve never had two legs before. But Augustus has never had a body like this before. Heaven did not give them the knowledge to use it.</p><p>They will have to figure it out all on their own.</p><p> </p><h3>Part 3: Angels Do Not Want Help Even If They Need It</h3><p>Walking is but first of many things that are new to Augustus, but it is the first thing they learned how to do by themself. Flying is something they were taught, but they have never actually flown before, so they will need to practice. But they don’t need help--they are an angel, after all.</p><p>It is during one of these practice sessions that Augustus first meets, well, anyone. Augustus is eager to talk to them. It will be the first time that they have a conversation with someone who is not an angel.</p><p>“Greetings!” they say, far too loud. The other person looks up, and Augustus now recognises they are fae. Although it is far too late to do anything about it, Augustus remembers fae are to be avoided, as they would do anything to trick someone into one of their traps.<sup><a href="#fn9" id="ref9" name="ref9">[9]</a></sup></p><p>“Hello,” the fae responds, slowly. “I’m Artagan. May I have your name?”</p><p>It is one of the oldest tricks in the book, so Augustus knows what to say.<sup><a href="#fn10" id="ref10" name="ref10">[10]</a></sup></p><p>“Call me Augustus,” they say.</p><p>Artagan grins, a sort of sickly grin that would make any human feel dread pool in their stomach.<sup><a href="#fn11" id="ref11" name="ref11">[11]</a></sup> “Well, hello Augustus. What are you doing here? People don’t often travel this road.”</p><p>Augustus isn’t sure how to answer that. They're only travelling this road because that's where they appeared. Therefore, the truth is not an option, because they do not believe Artagan would accept that as an answer and let them go on their way.</p><p>As a rule, angels don’t lie. Augustus has no qualms about lying anymore, since they got cast out for less than that, but they have never lied before. They stand silently, thinking, trying to come up with a satisfactory answer.</p><p>Contrary to what Augustus assumed, though, Artagan very well knew he was dealing with an angel, and had no interest in tricking one.<sup><a href="#fn12" id="ref12" name="ref12">[12]</a></sup></p><p>While Augustus is lost in thought, Artagan grabs his chance.</p><p>...well, he tries to, but he is interrupted by a younger fae. “Stop!” the younger fae hisses. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>“This was to be a vital learning opportunity, and you dare interrupt me?”</p><p>“Yeah, I dare. Come, weird looking dude, get out of here.”</p><p>Augustus follows him meekly, not saying anything until they are well out of earshot of Artagan. Then, they say, “I owe you.” Possibly my life, they think. They are still dealing with a fae.</p><p>“I suppose you do. I’m glad I could save you, though. Now, go, before he comes after you.”</p><p>“I will remember this. Thank you, fae.”</p><p>“Name’s Jaffe.”</p><p>“Thank you, Jaffe,” they amend their statement. “Goodbye.”</p><p>With a beat of their wings, Augustus disappears, leaving Jaffe behind in the forest.</p><p>An angel generally does not want help, but Augustus knows to appreciate it nonetheless.</p><p> </p><h3>Part 4: If Heaven Won't Help, I Will</h3><p>Being on Earth certainly gives a new perspective to things. Augustus used to think Heaven was a force for good, fixing things on Earth, battling Evil.</p><p>Augustus takes one look around them and they can see this is not the case.</p><p>But if Heaven won’t do anything, Augustus will have to do it themselves. They are still the Light, the Sword, sent to defend the meek from Darkness. They will end Evil on Earth even if it is the last thing they do.</p><p>Augustus has been careful to avoid connecting to the hive mind. In the beginning, the desire to do so was very strong. They had never been alone before. Heaven would know if they did connect, and in the end, fear won out. But, they figure, if they connect occasionally, they will not be discovered.</p><p>The first time they connect it is overwhelming, and if they could have cried, they would have.<sup><a href="#fn13" id="ref13" name="ref13">[13]</a></sup></p><p>Most of the knowledge floating around is familiar to them, but one piece of information stands out to them: there is a strong indication demons will start attacking certain people on Earth. Before Augustus can find out more, though, they feel a presence (or perhaps several) turning towards them<sup><a href="#fn14" id="ref14" name="ref14">[14]</a></sup>, and they leave.</p><p>About a week later, Augustus receives a prayer that they know will get ignored by Heaven. General informal prayers happen all the time, and because there are so many of them, they usually go unacknowledged. This one catches Augustus’ attention, though, because Augustus sees a flash of what provoked this particular prayer. They recognise it instantly.</p><p>This was the work of demons.<sup><a href="#fn15" id="ref15" name="ref15">[15]</a></sup></p><p>They’ve gotten a lot better at teleporting. They arrive at the scene instantly, but they are too late. Whoever caused this is long gone, and all that is left is the charred remains of several humans and one man crying between the ashes.</p><p>Unsure of what to do, Augustus stands next to him for a while. He does not stop crying.</p><p>“Hello,” Augustus says eventually. The man does not respond, but his crying seems to cease.</p><p>“Hello,” Augustus says again, this time a little bit louder. “What is your name?”</p><p>“They’re dead...” the man whispers, “they’re all dead....”</p><p>“That is not an answer. What is your name?”</p><p>The man suddenly turns around and faces Augustus. “My name is Mordecai,” he says, “and my entire family is dead because of <em>me</em>.”</p><p>Augustus tilts their head in confusion. “That is not true,” they say, ”It wasn’t you who did this. It was demons.”</p><p>“I was too weak to defend them,” Mordecai says. “I cannot let those... ‘demons’ go unpunished. If I don’t, who will?”</p><p>Augustus almost says “me,” but the look on Mordecai’s face stops them. He doesn’t seem like a man who could be stopped. Instead, they say, “I will help you, then.”</p><p>Heaven won’t help. At best, they will fight the demons too, but they allowed these to wreak havoc already. Augustus will simply have to pick up the slack.</p><p> </p><h3>bonus: angel lore</h3><ul>
<li>Heaven is a hive mind (collective subconscious). This is part of why angels don’t have emotions--their minds are interconnected. All the individual minds compensate for each other. Angels have some sense of individuality but not to a degree that they can have (individual) emotions, at least not in the way humans do. Emotions can be disastrous for a hive mind: if everyone starts feeling the same thing you’re gonna get a feedback loop. Heaven would descend into chaos at the first sign of trouble.<br/>
<ul>
<li>Only higher-up angels can get sent to Earth because of that--they are trusted to keep their emotions in check. They generally aren’t long enough on Earth to actually experience them.</li>
<li>Angels that are on Earth can ‘tap into’ the hive mind. Any knowledge the hive mind has is shared amongst all angels. This is not the case for exiled angels, as their connection is corrupted. They can receive (some) knowledge, but they cannot give it.</li>
<li>Hive mind is also used for communication. It’s like telepathy. (Trueform angels don't always have mouths so they need to use it. On Earth they tend to have a human form but telepathy is still used to avoid humans overhearing certain things.)</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Angels, by definition, are genderless. Some pretend to have a gender (e.g. Gabriel) to make things less confusing for humans.</li>
<li>Angels have perception filters to hide their true form. Particularly psychic people can sometimes (slightly) see through it.</li>
<li>Heaven is a lean, mean, propaganda machine</li>
</ul><p> </p><h6>Footnotes</h6><p><a id="fn1" name="fn1"></a><sup>1.</sup> Which, if one wants to be pedantic, is a bit of a misnomer, but the reality is that it's a term that is familiar for a lot of people and it is accurate <em>enough</em>.<a href="#ref1">^</a></p><p><a id="fn2" name="fn2"></a><sup>2.</sup> It is used as a cautionary tale in Heaven, however, which also means the story is never spread elsewhere.<a href="#ref2">^</a></p><p><a id="fn3" name="fn3"></a><sup>3.</sup> A very long time for angels, which is astronomical for humans. Time works differently in Heaven than it does on Earth.<a href="#ref3">^</a></p><p><a id="fn4" name="fn4"></a><sup>4.</sup> All Rules in Heaven are Divine. It is specified to separate it from human rules, which are very far removed from divinity. Heaven does not like to be associated with humanity.<a href="#ref4">^</a></p><p><a id="fn5" name="fn5"></a><sup>5.</sup> Angels don’t have personal possessions. Heaven frowns upon such things.<a href="#ref5">^</a></p><p><a id="fn6" name="fn6"></a><sup>6.</sup> And these wings aren't visible at all times, to make matters even worse.<a href="#ref6">^</a></p><p><a id="fn7" name="fn7"></a><sup>7.</sup> Hell as far as they know it. They’ve never been there, but every angel knows the stories of those who have been.<a href="#ref7">^</a></p><p><a id="fn8" name="fn8"></a><sup>8.</sup> Inasmuch angels have life, that is. Life, as a concept, does not fit with the experience of angels (nor demons, for that matter), but they are not dead either, nor undead. They simply are.<a href="#ref8">^</a></p><p><a id="fn9" name="fn9"></a><sup>9.</sup> Heaven is not a big fan of faeries.<a href="#ref9">^</a></p><p><a id="fn10" name="fn10"></a><sup>10.</sup> Again, Heaven is not a big fan of faeries, but one cannot accuse them of carelessness in that regard. They educate their angels.<a href="#ref10">^</a></p><p><a id="fn11" name="fn11"></a><sup>11.</sup> This is not the case for Augustus, not because they don’t feel the emotion (although they don’t, not really), but because they don’t have a stomach and thus wouldn’t know what it feels like to have something in it.<a href="#ref11">^</a></p><p><a id="fn12" name="fn12"></a><sup>12.</sup> Angels have a bit of a reputation of being tantalisingly <em>honest</em>.<a href="#ref12">^</a></p><p><a id="fn13" name="fn13"></a><sup>13.</sup> Despite looking human, angels in human form do not have tear ducts.<a href="#ref13">^</a></p><p><a id="fn14" name="fn14"></a><sup>14.</sup> Inasmuch that is possible when dealing with abstract representations of consciousness.<a href="#ref14">^</a></p><p><a id="fn15" name="fn15"></a><sup>15.</sup> Augustus can’t tell if it’s one or more, but whatever it is, it’s definitely demonic.<a href="#ref15">^</a></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As an extra, have this piece of information I couldn't work into the fic: the way Heaven tells the story about Augustus is like this: "See what happened to that angel that asked questions? Don't ask questions or the same might happen to you" <em>and</em> they don't say that Augustus was exiled, from the perspective of the other angels Augustus was just gone one day so they don't know exactly what happened, so they assume Augustus Fell. This is on purpose.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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